Friday, November 21, 2008

Clerical Matters

My lovely wife and the mother-to-be asked that I relate the locations that we have registered.

I swear that the fact that they invented those little scanner guns has probably saved countless fights and possibly marriages by getting the husband just excited enough to participate in wedding and baby registries. For example:

Prior to scanner guns:

W: "Hey honey, it is Saturday afternoon and I've been excited all week about going to register at ______ for our upcoming _______. Come on, let's go, it will be fun."

M: "The game is on and I've had a long week, can't you just do it? I mean it isn't like I care what place setting we get or what pattern the sheets have. As long as I have a plate to eat on and sheets to sleep on, I'm good, I'm a man."

W: (Angrily) "Seriously, if I can't even get you to go with me to register for all the things we will take into our new life together, how do you think we are going to work together when something really serious comes up? This shows a lack of interest and commitment on your part, and maybe I should re-think this upcoming __________ all together!!!!

After scanner guns:

W: "Hey honey, it is Saturday afternoon and I've been excited all week about going to register at ______ for our upcoming _______. Come on, let's go, it will be fun."

M: "The game is on and I've had a long week, but do they have those scanner gun things?"

W: "Yep, they sure do."

M: "Sweet, I'm in."

See what I mean? Anyway, we are registered at:

Babies "R" Us


Thanks to everyone for your continued prayers, thoughts and well wishes during this very exciting time!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

New life....

Okay, enough background, time to get to the heart of the matter.

We were close, very close. The closer we got the more the lack of results got to us. Add into that mix a couple of away rotations for me at 4 and 6 weeks at a time, we came to realize that this was a pretty challenging process. Questions about the latest core-body temperature had entered into our lives right after the regular "How was your day?" As the end of each cycle neared we both knew exactly what the other was thinking, "Is this the month?" The weeks after ovulation were the worst because what's done is done, all you can do is wait. We pepped each other up constantly, but during this lull period conversations tended to avoid the elephant in the room so as not to inflame anxiety during this time of waiting to see what might be.

Early on in the process it was no big deal, we were more content to wait a good while before testing. As the months wore on, we found ourselves researching which tests would give the earliest results, how accurate they were, what other signs we could look for as an earliest possible indicator of the goal, anything to shorten that two week lull period.

Then, a glimmer of hope. Jaynah had a few early symptoms, which we had seen before with no payoff but then she took an early pregnancy test and saw a touch of blue. It was pretty early, but we had read that any color at all was a positive test. Jaynah made me look at it to make sure she wasn't crazy, and I had no choice but to agree it was very faint, but it was definitely blue, barely. I tried to calm her down, while at the same time calming myself, we had come a long way, seen a lot of indicators and ended up being disappointed. Let's just be cool, and wait a few more days when the test will be a little less ambiguous.

So we waited. I had to go to Atlanta to take part of my medical boards. It was on a Monday morning, so she decided to come along with me. We went to dinner that Sunday night, got a hotel near the testing center, and I did some studying before turning in early for a good night's sleep. Jaynah was a trooper in helping me focus, helping me study, and suspending baby watch operations until after this huge hurdle (the boards) was behind us, or so I thought.

As I found out after the fact, she didn't sleep a wink, thinking, praying, hoping, anticipating. At 5:00 a.m. she couldn't wait any longer, it was too much, so she went and took a pregnancy test. This time there was no question, we could have painted the room with the amount of blue that line showed. She couldn't contain herself, but she did. I had my boards that morning and my alarm wasn't set to go off until 6:00 a.m. She wanted me to get every ounce of rest I could, so she laid in bed, looking at me, completely silent for a whole hour. I wouldn't have been that patient but at 5:59 a.m. September 15, 2008, she woke me:

"Baby, we're pregnant."

Monday, November 17, 2008

The real beginning...

Rewind again...

Let's face it, we are planners. My wife and I are relatively motivated people with personalities that compliment eachother to keep us both moving forward and sane at the same time. To boot, we communicate well and having been together a total of 10 years this coming May, we know each other's wants, dreams, pet peeves, and the location of those all important "buttons" to push at opportune times for slight, however usually effective manipulation.

We had everything all planned out, or so we thought. We knew we wanted to have children, not right after marrying, we wanted to enjoy time just the two of us, and well the dog, Daisy. The number of children is kind of a running joke, myself two, Jaynah three, but I think when it comes down to it it doesn't really matter as long as the family is healthy and cohesive as a unit. The most important consideration was timing. With one of us working to support the family while the other has negative income and even less time as a student makes timing everything.

So we set a calendar and started trying at our specified time with an expectation to get pregnant by another specified time to put the birth at another perfect time for our plan. We weren't in a rush, but as the months went by with no positive test we had to re-think our plan and recognize that we are and have always been on God's timeline. With that humbling recognition we came closer together, communicated better, helped eachother through the questions we both had and the apprehension of the thought that it might never happen.

We did what planners do, analyzed the problem, researched solutions, spoke with the doctor and moved forward with our plan. Thank goodness we had several months to get used to the idea of the issues we were facing because right in the middle of this was when the quiet looks and off-hand comments became an all out "Baby Watch".

God's timeline.

We were prepared for these questions having talked about whether to make these issues known once they were asked. We decided to keep our loop closed, circle tight and just smile and nod to interested family and friends. No pressure.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

In the Beginning.....

We've been married a total of 3 1/2 years this past week and after about two years of marriage was when it hit. For those newlyweds and singles reading, you'll find out soon enough. It starts slowly, with looks and glances, occasional passing comments when suddenly one day it comes right out. You can keep it just beneath the surface for a time, at least you can try.

Whenever we're home for a visit, my Dad and I make our evening rounds of the farm feeding animals, appreciating the latest in his never-ending projects, explaining what he'd like to do next. These are times to catch up, talk about this and that, where we've been and where we're going. It was a few of these conversations that turned toward the inevitable topic. Now my Dad may be gruff and enigmatic to many, but the man wants to be a granddad and to me the anticipation and eagerness is obvious no matter how calm and collected he tried to be when broaching the subject. Suffice it to say that he and my mom had been talking about it, and they were curious but did not want to be intrusive or pressing. We had a good talk, the five year plan and all that. I thought we were okay, keeping the family awkwardness at bay when the very next day the eager young cousin blurts out over a Sunday lunch, "So when y'all gonna have a baby!?!?"

We were outed...the "Baby Watch" had begun......