Thursday, August 27, 2009

Stay at Home Mommy

I was never one of those women who thought their life work would be raising kids. Sure, I wanted a family and I knew my kids would be the most important thing in my life, but I always wanted a career. I was raised by two working parents and I feel like I turned out OK, so it never bothered me to think about placing my children in daycare or hiring a sitter. I was smart, determined, and had a hard-earned degree. I started out wanting to be the best Occupational Therapist there was and 40 hour work weeks sounded just fine to me. We started talking about children and decided it would be a good idea that one of us have a paying gig before we had another mouth to feed (see, I told you we were smart!) When we finally got pregnant, I still believed that I would be ready to go back to work. I mean how busy can a little baby keep you really? Surely I would be bored out of my mind. Somewhere on the road to getting pregnant, dealing with a complicated pregnancy, and finally having my beautiful baby girl in my arms.....I changed. I no longer woke up excited about work, I woke up excited about what new things my little girl would do today. I no longer craved feeling needed by my patients; my baby needed me and that was enough. It isn't always easy to see in the short-term, but I can always look back and see how God knows better in the long run. Maybe it took us awhile to get pregnant because He knew that I wouldn't be ready to go back to work when 12 weeks had come and gone. Maybe He knew that financially I would have had to if we had gotten pregnant on our time line. Maybe He knew that Andrew's time at home would be few and far between, and Peyton coming in May allowed an entire month for our little family to be together before we entered this storm known as intern year. Maybe He knew that I wouldn't be able to work full-time and come home to another full-time job without a lot of help. Who am I kidding? Of course He knew, it was me that didn't.

So here we are....I am a stay at home mommy. Don't worry, I am still working weekends to bring home a little extra cash (most people don't realize that new docs don't make very much along with their horrible hours) and keep my skills up, but during the week, I am keeping our precious little girl. We are incredibly blessed to be able to manage this financially so early in our lives and we never take that for granted. Sure, we would be sitting pretty if we had my salary too, but some things are worth sacrificing for. Our move to Birmingham next year will probably demand that I return to work, but for now I am concentrating on this precious year to spend with Peyton.

I realize that staying at home isn't for everyone and certainly isn't an option for all those that desire it, but for me it has been such a blessing. I love waking up to Peyton's sweet smiles and I love being able to do all the little things with her that wouldn't fit into a 8-5 schedule. I love being able to have lunch dates with other mommies and friends and I love being able to travel home to visit with our families. I know I probably drive others crazy with the amount of pictures I take and force upon them, but it is so exciting for me to watch her grow before my very eyes. Each day brings a new accomplishment and before I know it, she will be walking, talking, driving, graduating, and leaving us behind to pursue her own dreams. Until then, I'm just taking it one smile at a time :)


Erin Hill said...

Wow, that was such a beautiful and encouraging post. Thank you for reminding me that God's timing is always best. Love you guys!

Mimi said...

Wow, Wow , WOw, What a beautiful, insightful post. You are truely as amazing woman, wife, and mom. I love u...Mimzy

Kirsten Hodges said...

sweet post Jaynah! and keep ALL the pics coming! I love watching little Peyton grow!